How I Learned to Live Without The Food Network.

Well. It’s been just about two and a half months since I made my trek to the great state of Virginia, leaving behind my family, friends, and cable television in Florida. As much as I may like to say that I’m not a big TV person, I’ve come to the realization that I really am.. Just not in the sense that most people are. There are a few shows that I follow religiously, like Glee, Metalocalypse, and True Blood. Shows that have an over-arching plot, that you have to watch in sequence otherwise you’ll be lost. Of course I enjoyed other things when I still had cable as well, like Law and Order: SVU, and Colbert Report, and the Daily Show. Things that do employ running jokes but that you don’t have to set a timer for every week in order to get any entertainment out of it.

One thing that I do have regular pangs of nostalgia over is the Food Network. Even when I wasn’t actively paying attention to the television, I normally had it tuned in to this channel. Don’t ask me why, I’ve just always been fascinated by cooking shows. Ever since I was a small child, and we didn’t have cable, and I was watching The Frugal Gourmet and Yan Can Cook. As I’ve written about my love of cooking before I’ll skip waxing philosophic over that for now, and just say that for as much as I watched (or at least listened to) it.. I really hated the Food Network. I think what I miss more than anything now is just having some sort of diverse background noise in the house, even if I’m just cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry. That can be achieved by playing a random DVD, though, or putting iTunes on shuffle.

For my birthday, I was gifted a copy of Anthony Bourdain’s latest offering, Medium Raw: A Blood Valentine to the World of Food and People Who Cook. My admiration for this man is not unknown amongst my friends, and I finished the book in something like two days. And although he used to host his own show on the Food Network, he makes no secrets of his feelings for the company now. Reading his feelings about it was like seeing the contents of my own brain somehow spelled out by someone I don’t even know.. Which goes a long way towards making me feel like less of an elitist asshole whenever it comes to all things culinary.

I am not a chef. I don’t know that I’m even a cook. Do I like to do it? Yes. Love it. Do I enjoy creating new dishes, and flavor combinations? Of course. Do I take great pride and pleasure in lovingly preparing meals for the people that I care about? There is no greater joy in the world for me. I don’t know if that’s what makes someone a cook, so I’ll just stick to calling myself a foodie. What I will say, however, is that I am fairly sure that the Food Network is slowly, bit by bit, destroying the entire process of cooking for America. There was a time when they hosted innovative shows that simultaneously opened up the world of cooking for the home chef, as well as made it accessible to people who previously thought they couldn’t cook. It made it all look so fun, and told you that you didn’t have to spend thousands of dollars and years upon years in school to look like a culinary rock star to your friends and family. It’s not that they don’t host some shows like this still.. Good Eats, for instance, appeals to both the foodie and the science nerd. The Barefoot Contessa, previously a White House advisor, makes 3 course gourmet meals look as easy as throwing a pizza in the oven. These are just to name a couple.

It disappoints me, though, that the Food Network has in recent years succumbed to the reality television craze. It can be argued that Mr. Bourdain’s series, No Reservations, counts as a reality show. It’s a camera, following him around in his travels, as he narrates his experiences. But there’s no competition there. There are no silly challenges, no ridiculous elimination rounds. It’s just him, talking about what he loves most– Food. Isn’t that enough any more? Now we have Bobby Flay (who, although I do not like him, is actually a decent chef) carrying his Throwdown challenges all over the US.. Exciting for the guests, I’m sure, but still too campy for my tastes. Chris Cosentino (a personal favorite of mine) and Aaron Sanchez are running around the streets of random cities, stuffing food into their mouths too fast to chew, much less taste, in order to beat out the home team in a series of ridiculous games. What’s the point of food if you’re not going to take the time to enjoy it?

And then, we have Sandra Lee and Rachael Ray. Meant to appeal to the busy working mom portion of the population, their shows are basically nothing but a barrage of shortcuts to making “gourmet” meals in minutes. Now. For as much as she annoys the ever loving daylights out of me, I will say that Rachael at least keeps the pre-made ingredients to a minimum, usually only taking shortcuts where something time intensive like baking is involved. I can live with this. To her credit, she still encourages her viewers to tinker around with her recipes and re-invent them, as well as to create new and unusual flavor combinations. Sandra Lee, however, is of the idea that dumping a packet of ranch seasoning into a bowl of ground beef constitutes gourmet meatloaf. Not only is that unhealthy (have you ever heard her stop to muse upon how much sodium is in all those spice/flavor mixes and canned soups she uses?), but it’s boring. I don’t feel like it encourages people to get dangerous, so to speak, in the kitchen. It’s more about ease and shortcuts than it is about creating something stunning for the people you love.

In a medium that I consider just as much an art form as painting or photography, things like this cannot be given up on. Short cuts aren’t evil, but when they take the place of creativity, of using the food as your canvas to create something fresh and exciting, well.. I’m afraid you’ve defeated the purpose, as far as I’m concerned. I feel like Mr. Bourdain would agree with me on this. Of course, you’d have to read the book to get his exact sentiments on it, but I’m pretty sure we are of like mind whenever it comes to this subject.

Food is one of those delicate and wonderful areas where science and art come together. An area that people appreciate less and less as we resort to fast food, frozen pizzas and casseroles, and take out from the Thai place down the street. It can be scary, yes, but just remember that the food is more frightened of you than you are of it! Throw out your cookbooks (unless you’re baking, of course), get rid of your pre-made chili seasonings and ranch mixes, and just go grab a bunch of stuff that sounds like it would be great together. Chances are you will not be disappointed and if you are, well.. You know better next time.